a glossary

i've had a number of comments recently about the confusing nature of the characters (and their corresponding acronyms) in my blog/twitter feed. for those of you who only follow twitter, this is entirely understandable. and for those of you who read the blog... well, we both know there's no plausible excuse. but please do allow me to smooth that wrinkle from your brow by providing you with a full glossary:

• A1- boy who looked after me when i first arrived in london. for about a month. before telling me that we couldn't be friends because his girlfriend didn't like me. or something. (who really cares?) his name is a nod to the infamous belle de jour.
• aw (or sometimes a-w)- arse-watcher. so named because i caught him watching my arse. we are currently working together at the dreaded nhs. also, we had sex.
• F1 & F2- my flatmates. both are amazing and gorgeous. and australian.
• jemima- or jemima jemima the secretary if you prefer. my previous (and possibly funnier) blog character. most of her blog is missing for legal reasons (read: my employer fired me and contractually obliged me to delete it.)
• johnny- a man (boy?!) from my home town of melbourne that i used to work with. after numerous naked pictures, phone sex, and significant emotional heart-ache, we have agreed (okay, so i dictated) that we will not have further contact until we are both in the same city. i hope to have some fun with him when i get home
• mr brazil- guy from brazil that i recently had sex with. characterised by his inability to orgasm during penetrative sex (although he seemed to do just fine during oral sex). hrmm... just realised i never blogged about this aspect. interesting.
• osg- oral sex guy. so named for his outstanding oral skills. he was also good at domination. i fell in love, but it ended badly. now we live across the road from each other but do not speak. enough said.
• rfg- random french guy. he worked at F1's work. apparently i was too much for him.
• sg- stupid girl. so named for the varying and numerous stupid questions she asks me. she doesn't appear in this blog (thank god!), only in my twitter feed. we work quite closely at the nhs.
• vsg- video store guy. so named because he works (worked?) at my local video store in melbourne. we have been known to have sex and watch porn together.
• wg- weird guy. another character who i am thankful that i have not had sex with. we also work together at the nhs. he recently asked me to appear in his (horrifically-scripted) university production that he was directing. the situation is, as yet, unresolved.

hope this helps, ya'll. if i've left anyone off the list, feel free to drop me a line.

xx
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