planning ahead

i know i've mentioned him before briefly, but i should probably introduce you properly. johnny (the one that wants me home in melbourne with him) has been an ongoing source of emotional distress since about mid-december last year when he wrote to tell me that he wanted to have passionate sex (no, wait, not passionate, i mean PASSIONATE [and you know how much i hate capitals]) with me on the boardroom table.

since then, we have been exchanging e-mails, text messages, naked photographs and other tokens of sexual suggestivity. i thought we were building a good relationship really, even if i wasn't 100% sure where it was going.

but when i asked him if he needed me to house-sit whilst he was in america (when i get back to melbourne, he will be in america for a month, and, as you may recall, i will be bedless) he replied back saying: thanks for the offer, but it would kill me to think of you sleeping in my bed without me. i took it for the polite no that it undoubtedly was. and then immediately started wondering if vsg still worked at the vs.