everyone wants to fuck you when you're a temp

the thing about being a temp is that everyone wants to fuck you. and i know i'm not imagining it, because i've checked this detail with my other friends who are temps. for a permanent office worker, fucking the temp has all the charm of an office romance with none of the embarrassment. after all, by the time it goes to shit, and you're ready to hurl insults about each others' sexual prowess, you won't even be working there anymore, will you? and hey, the benefits are clear for both parties.

when i walked into my first day of my temp assignment today, i was overcome with flirtatiousness. and, although, as a temp, i really am required to be at least a little charming, it really wasn't just charm that i was oozing. i flirted with at least 20 people today, and every one of them flirted back. but it wasn't until i found myself wondering how long it was going to take me to get that sexy facilities boy into bed, that i realised what was happening.

thinking back to my jemima days (when i was rather a lot funnier!), it's clear that this epiphany has actually been a long time coming. remember that swanky place where i broke the laminator and lost the shredder? i very nearly had sex with the accounts guy in the bathroom. after i left, i dated one of the service guys for about 9 months. and, even though it has been two years since i worked there, one of the sales guys has been in touch regularly over the last month: he has finally split up with his girlfriend and is begging me to come home to melbourne so that he can fuck my brains out. (who am i to say no??!)

oh and did i mention? i'm also going on a date with a man from the media company i temped at last week.