i simply cannot be satisfied in one 20-year-old's lunch break

so one of the kids from F1's work that i met on friday night added me on facebook. and i say "kid" as he is 20 (and btw what is with random people who you meet on a night out adding you on facebook? i find it alarming!)

anyway, so he adds me on facebook and starts sending me dirty messages. i chuckle to myself and start sending dirty messages back. after all, i am the queen of dirty messages and he is sure to crumble a long time before i do. predictably enough, i check with F1 and she confirms that the kid is all talk. apparently he has a long-term girlfriend and loves to flirt but would never take it further.

it gets more and more sordid and i confirm his intentions with F1. she confirms them back. we get more sordid still. he tells me he is going to come over and visit me in his lunch break. i don't believe him so i send him my address and tell him to come right over. he says he'll meet me at 1:30. i laugh and say okay. i meet him at the tube. he comes over to my house. i ask him if he wants a drink. he says he wants me. i say okay. i take my clothes off. he takes his clothes off. (keep in mind here that i never for one second actually think that this will result in sex.)

we go to the bedroom. i bend over. i think it might be about time that he's called my bluff. i stand up:

me: look, i think this has gone far enough. i know you have a long-term girlfriend.
kid: it's okay, she won't find out. i don't care.
me: well, i care.
kid: don't worry about her.
me: okay, well i care because F1 will kill me.
kid: i won't tell her.
me: i will! she's one of my best friends!
kid: it's nothing to do with her anyway.
me: look, this is just a bad idea, okay?
kid: oh, so it's you who can't rock it now??*
me: i'm sorry??
kid: you're not going to rock it coz you're scared?
me: what? i'm doing this for you bitch. as if i care? i'm not the one with the girlfriend.
kid: whatever.
me: fine.

i drag him to my bedroom. we have sex. he gets up, gets dressed and leaves. i tell him to send my love to his mother.

but you wanna know the worst part? i was just reaching for my whip when he blows his load. *sigh*


*authentic 20 year old lingo