the mystery is over OR the story of how i found out his name: the back story

if you've been following my twitter feed, you'll know that finding out this boy's name, has been somewhat of a hobby of mine for the past few months. now that the mystery's finally over (i'm officially changing his name from "boy-i-don't-know-the-name-of" to "boy-i-didn't-know-the-name-of"), it's probably time for the whole story to come out. this post is part i: the back story. stay tuned for part ii over the coming week (read: when i get time to write it).

the facebook incident
i first met the-boy-i-didn't-know-the-name-of (this is ridiculous- i'm shortening it to bidktno) back in december last year. he is a good friend of a good friend, and his mocha-coloured skin had me drooling the first time i met him. knowing that he had just split with his fiancee, i didn't want to come over too strong, but wanted to see him. i did what any girl would do in this post-2008 world: i added him on facebook*. and then i sent him a message, asking if he'd like to catch up for coffee.

he replied to my message saying that he and his gf were heading to bali to see family for christmas, but that he'd love to catch up when i got back. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT- he said, he and his GIRLFRIEND! wondering what the fuck was going on, but not wanting to appear rude, i replied and told him to let me know when he was back in town. (he never did).

a couple of weeks later, our mutual friend was having a "thing" because he was moving to singapore for work. bidktno was there, and sans gf. i politely asked him how his trip to bali was and received a blank stare in response. he denied his entire trip to bali, and told me i must have been drunker than he thought the last time i saw him. (to be fair, i was pretty fucking drunk). not knowing how to respond, i finished my drink (lemonade), said goodbye to our mutual friend, and left the pub.

in the quiet moments during the dead of the night, i wondered what the hell happened with bidktno- why did he deny his trip to bali? where was his gf? were they back together? were they still engaged? in short: what the fuck was going on? weeks later my questions were answered with a message from our mutual friend on facebook. it read:

are you sleeping with bidktno? why are you friends with his brother on facebook?

YES. yes, that's right. (note: if you didn't read the note attached to the * up there about my "adding-on-facebook technique, you may like to do so now.) it turns out i did NOT add bidktno as a friend on facebook. i added HIS BROTHER. who i've never met. who has a girlfriend. and who went to visit his family in bali over christmas. clearly. (the mystery of why he assented to having coffee with a random stranger who added him on facebook is obviously another story altogether and not part of this tale.)

yet more weeks later, i was having an im conversation with our mutual friend in singapore and he asked me again about why i was friends with bidktno's brother. i poured out the whole story and he pissed himself laughing, which was only to be expected. but then, not so expectedly, he gave me bidktno's phone number.

most of the story between this point and now, you will know, ie: we had rubbish sex a few times, and i've been trying to find out his name ever since. the problem was, our mutual friend always referred to bidktno by a nickname- something that obviously wasn't his actual name. and i could never admit i'd had sex with bidktno, for fear of it getting back to other friends, and therefore, i could never ask him bidktno's name.

the address book incident
but the most brilliant (modesty aside, obviously) of these name-finding-out attempts has got to be the address book incident. you see bidktno and i work in the same industry, and i have contacts who work at the same company as him (or shall i say: contacts who have contacts). knowing bidktno's brother's name due to the completely embarrassing facebook incident, i (rather brilliantly, imo) asked one of my contacts to ask one of their contacts to look up his last name in the company address book. for hours i sat glued to my blackberry screen, waiting for a response to come back through, contact-to-contact.

finally, the much-awaited message arrived. the response indicated that there was one person with that last name in the address book. i read the name with trepidation! it was the moment i'd been waiting for! i scrolled down with my blackberry touchpad thingy...

... it was the brother's name. i experienced a moment's confusion before i remembered bidktno saying that his brother worked for the same company. there was no one else that worked there with the same last name. demoralised and dejected, i felt i was going to be destined to ignorance forever.

and THAT, my friends, is part i. stay tuned for part ii: the moment of truth.


*"but how did you add him on facebook if you didn't know his name?!" (i hear you ask). i spent two hours going through the profile pictures of all 300-odd of our mutual friends' friends looking for one that looked like him, and was friends with the right group of people.