how to increase a girl's confidence

the other day i met up with a good friend of mine. (for want of a better name, let's call him R.) as it was going to be his birthday the next day, i bought him a card and present. prior to our catch-up, i gave him a quick call to make sure i knew where to meet him. i happened to mention that i had brought him a present. his immediate reaction was: oooh, is it a blow job?!

now, at this juncture, let me tell you that there is no chance that i am ever going to give R a blow job. firstly, because we've slept in the same bed on two separate occasions, so if anything was ever going to happen between us, it would have already happened. and secondly, because he has a beautiful girlfriend whom i love and respect.

okay, so with that in mind:

me: errrr....not exactly.
him: why not?
me: why do you want me to give you one anyway?
him: i asked mr brazil and he said you were in his top 3
me: !!!!!

seriously, what is with you boys holding out on us girls with this important information?!