this rejection's got me so low

being back home is difficult. sure, there's all that find a job, find a flat stuff, but right now there's something much more pressing: who will i have sex with?! whilst it's true that no one is ever going to replace #cookieboy in my heart, a girl still has needs. and all of that.

if you are one of the few who are recalling that i have had a plan for this exact situation lined up for months, you can stop scoffing right now. a transcription of our recent text conversation follows:

me: come have sex with me. it will be fun *attach naked pic*
him: hi. how has your week been?
me: errr... would you like to have lunch?
him: i have lunch plans, sorry.
me: do you want to have sex with me?
him: i'm sorry, i have lunch plans
me: errr... not at lunch, i meant EVER
him: please don't be offended, but no, i don't think so.

although i don't bother to reply, you and i both know what is entirely obvious: i am completely offended.

could everyone who fancies having sex with me kindly raise their hands so i can make an informed decision? much obliged.