my fan club is only open to a-listers

i told you he acted like he was 19. trusting to the tried and true formula (and probably also because he has no imagination), he waits the obligatory three days before texting me:

mb: hi, it's mansion boy* from the weekend. do you want to catch up sometime before you leave?
[now, i really only have a few days left, so it's going to be difficult, plus- did i mention he was absolute rubbish in bed?]
me: which mansion boy from the weekend?

if that's enough to deter him, today i get more messages:

mb: would you like to come over for dinner?

i decline to respond, as i am having dinner with the fam. not even an hour later i get a phone call from an unknown landline: it is mb. i offer a vague apology, tell him i am already having dinner with fam and then try to fob him off with a non-specific promise of catching up another time.

mb: oh no, that's fine, i understand. tomorrow i'm free till 1pm, and then after 3pm so hopefully that will suit you.
me: uhhh... okay, i'll uhhh... keep that in mind
mb: okay sure. yeah. yup. okay, well i'll speak to you then.
me: okay, must run. ciao.

an hour later i get another text message:

mb: you can come over after dinner if you like

*obv, he uses his real name here, but i like to protect the innocent. especially when i'm bagging the shit out of them. i'm just thoughtful like that.