it's "up above the world so high" you idiot. omg, learn2google

as i mentioned earlier, i'm sleeping on my mum's couch until i leave. it's seriously cramping my style. (incidentally, it's cramping hers too- the other day i got a text message which said "star can u go out so i cn have my friend ova?" hrmmm...)

i realised that it was becoming an issue when this was the highlight of my weekend:

i spent the afternoon and early evening drinking cocktails with my friend so by the time i hit the clubs it was still early, and i was pretty trashed. i got me a boyzIImen disco pash who told me he was 19. (naturally i was 19 too.) after a few turns around the dance floor we were outta there, and i was trashed and desperate enough to give him my real number. here is a selection of text messages that i have received since saturday night:

• "i hope u had fun with me,i love the way u dance :-)"
• "... i'm feeling good since i met u i dnt knw y. u make me smile ha ha i wana sing a song for 'i like the way u mve' umah umah"
• "...cnt wait to meet u hun he he miss ur hug ***" [incidentally, when i got this message i was concerned that he was telling me that i have a huge arse. i am actually quite senstive about this as sitting around doing not much all day has ensured that my recently purchased extra small underwear are now rather snug. so snug in fact that i went out on the weekend and bought some small underwear instead. and maybe it's even possible that my arse no longer fits under my emily skirt? could that be what he's referring to? but then i thought perhaps they are kisses... but seriously, what is wrong with plain old, unambiguous xxx?? thoughts, anyone?]
• "...this is for u twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder wt u are, up above in the sky. Like a diamond in the sky. he he ****"

and if that wasn't enough to prove the patheticism of my situation, i am also seriously considering asking the video shop guy out for a drink.