rap knock bang raaaapppp knock knock bang

remember how i got evicted? it wasn't pretty, although i'd like to stress that it was absolutely through no fault of my own. (well, probably that's not strictly true because i did enter into a fairly loose rental agreement and not pay much attention to the details, but still- i didn't do anything dodgy, k? nothing dodgy- i promise!)

well, the aftermath of the eviction is:

1. i'm sleeping on my mother's couch
2. i have been getting my mail redirected

as if the first one wasn't bad enough (but more on that in other posts), some of my mail seems to have slipped through australia post's robust and foolproof mail-forwarding system. and not just any piece of mail but my mobile phone bill. so it was that i received multiple calls from random friends along the lines of such:

"uh... star, i just had a call from this random guy. he reckons you're owed money* from the flat that you were evicted from. his name's on the lease and the cops are chasing him for unpaid rent. he's trying to get in touch with you. he sounds really desperate, i think you should call him."

yes, that's right, some unknown person went through my mail, opened my phone bill and randomly started calling my friends (or anyone who i'd called in the last month.) why didn't he call me directly? clearly, because he's a dickhead (or was just too stupid to work out where on the bill he could find my phone number). after a few such calls (and a facebook message) i decided to give in and ring the guy so i could have a go at him about opening my mail, only to hear him rat out on my ex-flatmate entirely and completely. clearly, there's something dodgy going on between them but do i care what it is? no. i want no further involvement in their petty rental struggle and am therefore taking the only option left to me: witness protection.

but that's not even the worst thing about all this: with all the confusion over where my mail is going (and who's looking at it) i have absolutely no idea where my visa and passport have been sent. it should have come in the mail by now, it hasn't, and i'm starting to get concerned. if anyone from canberra is reading this, please contact me immediately to discuss. (of course i am in witness protection, but if you're from canberra, you're sure to know the secret knock.)

*i'm not by the way, it was just a ploy to make me call him. jerk.